mY nAmE iS wAyNe

Repair

2011-11-03T20:08:00.002+08:00

fix u

-Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face And I
Tears stream down your face I promise you
I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

Spooky

2011-11-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

http://www.zombieme.com/free/cPlayer.php?id=8fb6736f590951b24c20a06307f7d4db1

bite..

2011-10-20T17:13:00.002+08:00

buddies,,

2011-10-15T10:43:00.006+08:00

Phenomenons

2011-10-10T16:44:00.004+08:00

When I was in Bangkok, "Angry birds" is all over the place. Here and there, I was once hooked playing on my iTouch4 but I was not that in to it, compared to PVZ and some of the facebook games which the latter made me purchase my own laptop. This was circa 2009.

Toms slip on is out and the "all-shoes" is in for TOMS. The espadrilles are very over rated.

Hunger games triolgy is the new Twilight. I had to listen to the first two installments for less than 2 weeks given my busy sched. It is very raw, radical and unconventional. Movie version will be shown on March 2012. And now, I have downloaded the 3rd version.

Tweeting overpowered my BLOG as it is also one of the phenomenal concept for a social media site. It is very interactive. I've been tweeting for a year now but this time, it's more convenient for me as I can tweet using a RIM service on my Blackberry handset. Anywhere, anytime.

Having talked about technology, iPHone 4s was recently released and its good to know that Sprint finally have it. A well thought way of transitioning service provider. very timely.

iCloud and IOS 5 will be part of the new phenomenal phone as it will also be available through iPad2 and, ahem, itouch 4.

Siri is also a new feature, as this service has been introduced by Android early this year. Windows 7 for phones wasn't a click.

TImeline is another phenomenal application for Facebook. It made viewing profile a bit slow though. And very similar to MySpace.. will FB be "myspaced" soon?

Thai food as well as Thai flicks are also becoming a trend. And it caught my interest too as I experienced Thailand myself. I want to be there again. The effect of the Thai addiction is still inside my body, craving, missing, addicted.

"Pedring" destructs some part of Central Luzon, exactly 2 years after the deadly "Ondoy". Made me soaked wet as I reported to work on it's 1st day.

Shafflin and Dougie are the new dance craze... No freaking idea how it's done.

LCD is out, LED and 3D tvs are in.

As of movies, hmmnn I'm still in Anne Curtis' "No other woman" as everyone else. It's one damn good movie. Real Steel and Immortals and next in line, as well as breaking dawn. That goes to the new batman and superman new movie.

Glee season 3 is so in as well as Modern family. My eyes are fixed on "The X-Factor US" as well as "ANTM all-stars".

Adele's 21, Cee-Lo Green, David Guetta's "Nothing but the beat" and "Hands all over me" by Maroon 5 are the favorite playlist I have on my iPod.

Siam

2011-10-10T16:23:00.004+08:00

CAPTURED

2011-08-27T11:52:00.004+08:00

2011 FAVORITE PICS.... so far

Follow @WayneMangune

cycles

2011-08-27T08:25:00.004+08:00

I always wonder if when we will get tired being on a situation, really bad situation, all over again. It's becoming a never ending cycle. Committing the same exact errors. As if we love being on that particular dilemma, like an addiction, but the truth of the matter is, is that it never do us any good. Just repeating the same mistakes and yet we never learn.

It is as if we love being on pain. We let it grow inside us without doing anything. And we find ourselves on a very obscure and helpless situation. Because we never learn. In order for us to learn, we have to feel pain, we have to commit errors, but if we continuously doing it, then it's really on us.

Follow @WayneMangune

stitch..

2011-07-09T10:54:00.002+08:00

Apparently, my last post is an opposite of my last entry. I know it has been 3 months since the last time I have posted something on my blog. And 3 months was a long period to let the tables turn.

We're back again, together. And this time it is for good.

On July 17, out paths crossed again. I knew it was coming but I don't want to assume. But as they say, it will happen if it's meant to happen. And the rest was history.

We went to places we liked going to, met the family again and spent time with them. The last time I was with them is when I was asked to be the godson of dominc, their 3rd apo. It was overwhelming, as I think it made a way for us to be back again.

And now, all we have to do is to move on. Forget the pain of the past but learn from it's lesson. And start a new.

Single

2011-04-29T14:11:00.003+08:00

I just watched the most recent episode of glee as part of my plan to stick at home for the day to rest. This week has been very tiring and stressful primarily because of work. The demands of the job requires longer patience and strength. I had to stick around at work after my daily huddle to further do my monitoring.. It was really exhausting.

I went out with my bff last night and we belt the night out as we sang along with our favorite pieces. A mini show as it turned out because of the well entertained audience. It was a night of fun but the truth of the matter remains a fact, it was a night of despair. My Friend and Chrissy called it off and i have this strong feeling that it is really the bitter end.

We are now both single and it is somehow good because we both have all the time in the world to bond more. We always have this "small secrets" but moving forward, we can both do things freely, without watching each other's back.

Sometimes, we really have to live our life alone, so we would know ourselves more. Being independent is not as pathetic as it felt. It is easy to identify our priorities as we can do things and think things for ourselves first without considering other people.. or person. It may sound selfish at first, but I have obtain the idea of giving yourself to someone would not mean anything if you don't know yourself at all.

He once told me that we are not getting any younger, but I felt that rushing things and settling down just for that reason is not a good reason after all. We have to be ready, ready to share ourselves to the rightful one who has the ability to understand us, our situation and can accept what we can only offer.

Settling down is not always an assurance of fulfilling one's destiny. It should always be just a part of growing. Destiny is called destiny if both sides are really believing on it and not just a fantasy. We should not just go after what everyone is craving because one day, we don't want to end up crying for we just had realize how sad it is to just regret.

Sometimes freeing someone could mean getting rid of them. It may also be letting them know themselves too and letting them realize if they would still come back after the liberty of living a life.

For now, I want to live that life and what it has to offer, though closing doors for a comeback of someone is not and will never be on the list. Thus, it would also depends if that person we are waiting for is would still be willing as we are.

metamorphosis..

2011-04-16T21:42:00.006+08:00

Five months of non-blogging is like a life without a friend to confide. Blogging became the source of my freedom.. to let out things that I've been dying to cry out. But being away from it has a mere and complex reason. It was a period of transition and evolution.

New Home.
I recently move, finally, to a new house with my family here in Pmapanga. This made us busy. Moving to another place was a total havoc- time consuming and exhausting.. but just after we move, everything was worth it.

Handling my very own team for Sprint.
I started handling my current back in December and now I have a total of 14 diverse individual, but equally great agents.

Georgina.
I also had a fair-share of mishaps with one of my bffs but good thing we're in good terms now.. I thought I'll lost it but it turned out that we are much better now..

Pounds.
I quit gym. My short, available time does not allow it but I hope I can go back. I am on the verge again of gaining too much weight. No-rice like a-life-with-no-alcohol is what I want to achieve as of now but being at home with my mom's home-cooked meals which are to-crave-for makes this diet on a pit.

Source of knowledge.
New set of must-reads is one of the things I want to accomplish, reading is learning. I think I'm too depress right now and I need to divert my attention else where.

exit words.
Change is what makes us learn, it what makes us adapt.. it what makes us strong.. it will make us survive.

salvo

2011-04-15T16:18:00.001+08:00

I miss you,.. but i know it's a little too late

kickoff...

2010-11-24T17:24:00.008+08:00

I'm taking it back.. I'm bringing my blog back.. It's a part of me.. I can not take away some part of me.. for I would not feel complete..

Had a blast in my recent tour..

speechless...

It says it all..

goodbye..

2010-10-21T14:48:00.003+08:00

For 5 years of blogging, it became an outlet of my emotions, a witness to my triumphs and failures, a friend I can talk to, a confidante, and a reality to my imagination.

I might be saying goodbye to this valued blog of mine. Amidst the achievements and happy experiences I have shared in this channel, it somehow created conflicts, issues, and had caused pain to all those who continuously view my posts, and even to those whom I truly cherish.

I am hoping that as I close this book, all the sad memories will fade and the pain will be swept away...

Bum...

2010-10-08T11:27:00.004+08:00

Here are my whereabouts during my "bum days"..

Day 1

-Right after my almost-eviction, I had a lunch with Aimiff and Pam at Extremely Espresso. Then we went to Aimiff and BK's Apartment with beth and had a bountiful meal there. At night, I met with Clarise and Juvy for a drink. I got messages and calls from colleagues, a nice gesture from newly found friends from office.

Day 2

-Nothing much for the day. I went to church and stayed all day long at home.

Day 3

-With mom, we went to check the house at Fiesta. Then I went to pam's office then waited at home for the Big boss' instruction. It was a nerve wrecking day but it went well as I passed the interview for a new account.

Day 4

-Went out with Clarise. We had a coffee at Starbuck Marquee Mall then watched "I Do". It was a laid-back night as I received a message from my boss that I have to report to work and meet my new manager. I rushed to the office only to find out that person i'm supposed to look for was not there yet and that I am expected to report on the 18th pa.

Day 5

-I met Clarise, Joy and Aimiff for a coffee at Coffee Academy. Then had a Margarita session at Queue, Rob Place.

Day 6

-day for pamper. Not a good day though because of a stressful issue, yet I have not overcome the current one. Had a facial with junela, then our favorite past time, Videoke! we net Pam after then had a meal at Toll house. We decided to see Pam;s place at Xevera after. I had a relaxing foot spa there. The, I and Junela decided to buy DVD's, got my fave Grey's and some indie flicks..

Day 7

-nothing much for this day. I just went out to work out then i went home. I'm not in any mood to go out or to see or to talk to anyone. just watch Greys all night. been watching "Imortal" too since day 1.

Day 8

-I got a lot of things to do today but I canceled some of them. I met Clarise at Starbucks after having dinner with Aimiff at karate boy. Then she accompanied me to Courtyard to meet my team. I missed my "anak-anakan". We moved to Spencers and had a nice time. It was still early so we decided to transfer to Bruno's. To my surprise, my team requested for me to jam with the band. I unhesitatingly rocked the last song of the night with Rivermaya's "Hinahanap-hanap kita". It was a first for me to sing with a band.. good thing I was assisted by the vocalist.. and i forgot their band name but it was an awesome experience. We tried to end the night at the newly opened Starbucks along Mcarthur Hiway but it was still close so we had an earl breakfast at Jbee-AUF.

Day 9

-10-10-10

it was an exciting day for me because it was the last day of the "cool-down" stage. I went to Junela for the City fiesta and met some of the old-familiar faces there. We, then, released our stress at Spencers and called it a day.

...to be continued

series...

2010-10-04T16:56:00.002+08:00

wala ako masabi.. magulo ngayon.. I guess it's true about what they say.. once a year your gonna have your own life's mishap!.. tapos nako sa last year.. kaya pala all the while I felt like my life is in full turn.. career, love life, family, friends.. and lahat ng wish ko nagkakatotoo.. Akala ko naman, it was life's way of giving it back to me after the tremendous event last year.. though yung last year.. hindi ko naman sinusumpa yung nangyri.. actually I was thankful for what happened.. marami ako natutunan at maraming nangyaring maganda after it..

Yun nga lang.. nangyayari ang mga hindi inaasahan... but I believe that everything happens for a reason.. I don't want to preempt things but it was a sad thing to happen. It was somehow humiliating and traumatic.

But I am trying to see the bigger picture of this. I hope that things will end well. Ayoko ng kumplikadong buhay.. pero ewan ko ba at nagiging kumplikado ang bawat buhay na pasukan ko..

Simple lang nman ang mga gusto ko sa buhay.. ayoko naman ng major complications.. pero ang nangyayari every time na may gawin akong isang bagay.. gumugulo.. nagiging kumplikado.

Sabi nga nila we can't have it all.. we can always look at the menu but we can't order everything... first time ko ulit mag tagalog sa blog ko.. ayokong mag english.. may naaalala ako... yun na!

plea

2010-09-13T10:26:00.003+08:00

Lahat ng problema ay may solusyon, kung walang solusyon, wag problemahin.. a quotable quote from one of Ai-ai's movie. It is funny and it make sense at the same time.

I agree that most of the time, we make our own problems. We create our own fear and we let them haunt us. But I couldn't say that it is always the case. Because for all I know, sometimes, life has its own way of fussin' us all.

It is also true that history repeat itself. But when it happens again, it isn't the way we expect them to be, it may be even worse or more complicated. Usually, the issue is the same, the scenario is the same but this time, different characters, different level of emotions. But it all boils down to one thing, we never learn and yet we keep on repeating the same old mistakes.

There is nothing perfect in this world, no matter how hard we tried to make everything surreal. Time will come and things will suddenly fall apart. We always say, because we are human, we bound to make mistakes. But it was never an excuse to keep on repeating them.

We misjudge other people's decision or choices. That's what we are good at. We can easily identify somebody else' mistake. But when it comes to our own fault, we try everything we could to justify them. We convince ourselves that we choose the right thing.. because of these, because of that...

For what its worth, we never really learn. We kept on complaining, we kept on demanding but we failed to do our own part.

I hope that saying "everything will be fine" won't be something that people will get addicted on saying or believing. Because knowing this, we would just go on and doing things we do because we can rely that "everything-will-be-fine" anyway.

love?...

2010-09-06T03:53:00.000+08:00

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
And there's a thousand ways you can skin it

My feet have been on the floor
Flat like an idle singer
Remember winger
I digress
I confess you are the best thing in my life

But I'm afraid when I hear stories
About a husband and wife
There's no happy endings
No Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

[Chorus]
If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better
If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, Love
That's enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own
Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy ya everything
Except cologne
'cause it's poison
We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
'cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything
Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face

[Chorus]

You can move in
I won't ask where you've been
'cause everybody has a past
When we're older
We'll do it all over again

When everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
I'm in it for you

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
Then the rest is just whenever

If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better
And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

Sailing..

2010-08-28T21:59:00.002+08:00

My crossing-over to Bertaphil has caused me 10 lbs off my weight. Imagine to take an average of 15 to 20 escalation calls, not only from my team but from other agents on the floor too. A drastic change that I never imagine that I would encounter from just moving to another site.

I have to handle a total of 16 newly-hired reps.. and It was tiring.. I have to adjust to almost everything, all at once.

The culture is almost a call-center-like, not really the kind of set-up I used to be with but I think, it's getting there.

I have nice Managers too. My previous Manager is also nice when I was under his team but this time, I have foreign nationals as Bosses and it was surprising to know that they are nice. I hope that the impression would last.

There were routines that I am now failing to endeavor as things get winded due to my hectic and nauseating job. My fingers are crossed hoping that things will be back to its places again and that I can run the same things I like doing.

superB**

2010-08-27T07:07:00.000+08:00

"In the blink of an eye
In the speed of the light
I'll hold the universe up
And make your planets collide
When I strap on my boots
And I slip on my suit
You see the vixen in me
Becomes an angel for you"

meaningless

2010-08-17T17:58:00.003+08:00

I am still sad... dunno why.. I just love listening to this song..

Used to dream of being a millionaire, without a care
But if I’m seeing my dreams, and you aren’t there
’cause it’s over
that just wont be fair
darling,
rather be a poor woman living on the street,
no food to eat,
cause i don't want no body if i have to cry.
cause it's over
when you said goodbye!

all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

now i see myself through different eyes,
it's no surprise!
being alone will make you realize
when it's over!
all in love is fair I shoulda been there, I shoulda been there, I shoulda shoulda.

all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

I know I pushed you away
What can I do that would save our love
Take these material things
They don’t mean nothing
Its you that I want
All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

bored..

2010-08-11T23:00:00.005+08:00

I was surprised to wake up this morning with a text from our trainer informing us that the training for today will be postponed and that we have to take our off. It has only been 2 days since we started training. Amazing! that's all I can say.

I have not made any plans at all for this "sudden" off. I have a commitment this Saturday with friends but due to this twist of fate, I have to cancel it and deal with the current situation. Bored to death, I went to the gym to finally work-out. I had escaped the gym since the start of my vacation leave and it has been like 3 weeks already.

To add more frustration, I wasn't able to contact my friends to accompany me on this unexpected free day of mine. Most of them were working and I couldn't do anything to force them to go with me. So there, a free day wasted. Good thing I was able to work out and at least i was able to achieve something.

I was asleep for like 10 hours this morning so I am not anticipating to be on my bed anytime soon. I think I'll watch "The Spartacus" later on.

jitters..

2010-08-09T09:36:00.004+08:00

First day, nervous and excited at the same time. I felt like I'm a new employee again and clueless about the world I'm about to be part with.

I just hope things will be fine.

Let's get it on!

adapt...

2010-08-07T22:10:00.011+08:00

I should have been in Manila right now and spending time with my Makati friends before my very first day at work in Clark. I had to cancel the trip back to manila due to heavy rains. It is much better spending the night cuddling at bed, and oh well, writing blog.

I'm starting this Monday and I am having this butterfly in my stomach. It will be a new environment for me, given the fact that iQor-Makati has been my refuge for 4 long years. And now, I have to adjust and adapt to whatever culture they have there.

There will be new changes happening within the next few weeks or months. We will also be moving to a new house. Since the dawn of my existence, I have been on this small, but a fortress, place we call home.

Things kept on changing, so rapid that I have to adjust a lot. Like being on a married status. It happened so fast and now, I have to plan, not for my self, but for me and my parent's future.

I have posted several entries on this blog about life's surprises, and it still don't

vicissitudes..

2010-08-07T22:10:00.008+08:00

I should be in Manila by now, spending time with my Makati friends before my very first day at work in Clark. I had to cancel the trip to manila due to this heavy rains. It is much better spending the night cuddling at bed, and oh well, writing blog. (cuddling myself that is..)

I will start this Monday and I am having this butterflies in my stomach. It will be a new environment for me, given the fact that iQor-Makati has been my refuge for 4 long years. And now, I have to adjust and adapt to whatever culture they have there.

There will be set of new changes happening within the next few weeks, or months. We will also be moving to a new house. Since the dawn of my existence, I have been on this small, but a fortress, place we call home. We are just waiting for things to be fixed then were outta here.

Things kept on changing, so rapid that I have to be quick in responding to these vicissitudes. Like being on a married status, It happened so fast and now, I have to consider planning, not just for my self, but for me and my partner's future. We have not came out yet with an actual and detailed plan for things keep on changing. But one thing's for sure, we will be settling down once everything has been accomplished.

We are planning to obtain some properties. My transfer to clark is just a start for this plan. I have to save. Being here in Pampanga will help me, and us, save more. Good thing, I was given an opportunity to move back here in my home land. While apart, we will try to cut lose and effort to endeavor our long-term plans.

Migrating to another country is also an option. But for now, we wanted to take one step at a time.

I have posted several entries on this blog about life's surprises, and it still don't fail me.

kota..

2010-08-07T13:26:00.003+08:00

Don't u just love my new template? please please please.. feed my fish ---->

aren't they the cutest thing?

I'll be in Kita Kinabalu soon... I'm as excited as ever....

love love love...

gone..

2010-08-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

I felt miserable. I have to spend time alone and get used to it again. Spending time with you for a couple of days made me comfortable, made me feel secure, made me think that everything was fine and that I don't have to be alone again. I never felt any solitude when I was with you. But as you left, I was back to the reality, reality that I have to deal with things all alone again.

In loving, each must deal with sacrifices, it can not be called love unless there's sacrifice involved. And I love you, and I gave myself to you, I am now married to you and our souls are united. But I can't help to miss you, your touch, your kiss, your smile, everything about you makes me crazy.

And now I have to "un-feel" things. I have to train my mind, to convince myself that I can not be with you for now. I have to undergo self-help to survive. My longing for you makes me insane, and worst, it kills me, every nerve of me.

and this pain.. it's worst than the last heart break, and I felt miserable.

unite

2010-07-19T02:08:00.001+08:00

two less lonely people in the world,,,

Everything is falling into places.. I am, once again, the happiest person on earth. I couldn't deny it. I just hope things go well. The moment is almost near and I am getting nervous whenever I think of it. Another chapter in my life to begin, or should I say, has began. I am as excited as every person getting married, and this is what I wanted, to be with the person I am more than willing to spend my life with, to grow old with. Good thing I get to choose almost everything I prefered so it's going to be comfortable with me as thing unfold on my very eye, on that ver day. It was not any thing big or fancy. But I could say, it's the most special day and some of the most special person will be there too.

Twists.

2010-07-05T01:13:00.004+08:00

Everyone seems to be on "Eclipse" mode nowadays, even I. The twilight Saga:Eclipse has been shown last week and I got the chance to watch it at MARQUEE Mall (newest Ayala Mall) in Angeles City with my friend Aimiff. I could say, it was better than "NEW MOON" however, the book is way better than the film. The story is good, thought the plot was very predictable, not really a "movie-type". The story revolved, for me, around the childish encounters of Edward and Jacob, and bella being the "full-of-issue-brat". Hence, the sincerity of the romance between the three are more matured and something a person can get carried away easily. I tried finishing the book (in 3 days) before watching it.

Having talked about movies, I have been waiting for the movies, "THE LAST AIRBENDER", "SALT", "GOING THE DISTANCE", "THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE", "INCEPTION", "EAT.PRAY.LOVE", "CHARLIE ST. CLAUDE", "BURLESQUE", and "HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS".

I am currently reading the book entitled "PARA KAY B" by Ricky Lee. It is hilarious though every truthful statements can pinch every nerve. Satirical but it can make us wonder why such thing called "LOVE" can f**k us all..

But I won't be arguing with that. I had a fair share of misfortunes of that subject... But in the end, love will always prevail.

I am getting married.

developments

2010-06-18T21:37:00.003+08:00

Glee, Plants VS. Zombies, Hundred Islands, SATC.. etc..

The moment I stepped into being a leader in Operations made my life very complicated.. Have to handle so many situations at any given time. But ironically, it was fun. It always keep me on my feet, making everything possible and coming up such solutions that I never thought I will be coming up with.

While waiting for my favorite tv series to end (so once I start watching the first few episodes, I wouldn't have to wait for the next episodes on TV) I had the chance to watch Glee on cable because new episodes are being aired few days after it is aired in the US.

And now I couldn't help it. Watching it makes me forget of my own drama at work but the thing is I couldn't work out anymore because I have to spend time watching instead of just calling off the day and rest. The Madonna Episode still keep me get into the the groove.

And that goes for the Plants vs. Zombies too. I ended up dumbfounded when I witnessed my friends addicted to this game. You definitely know what I'm talking about...

I had bonding moments with my two groupies, My hommies and I had a blastful almost-ending summer, and I had an SATC nights with my BFF's. two of the most precious bonding moments I had before kissing summer away.

And now it's JUNE, it's birthday month. Not for me but for the people I love and I care about. June 13, my BFF jun-jun who is in current reverie.. I feel for you...

June 17, my MOM and my other BFF, Pam. I went to the cemetery yesterday and then I went straight to pam's.

June 20.. my babe's day.. I wish I can celebrate with you...

June 21, it was my sister's..

June 22, my cousin's.

I hope I am not forgetting anyone as of right now...

vent...

2010-05-10T05:41:00.003+08:00

on the side of me..

It's 5 am and I am at work.. I was sick this early morning but I have to come to work. It is critical to be absent today, It's election day today but we were all deprived to our right to vote.. a sad reality of working in a BPO..

I had a very tiring week.. month.. summer that is.. I've been to karakol festival in Imus Cavite with my super BFF's 2 weeks ago and then, We celebrated Mark's birthday last week. And last weekend, I had my team's first team building.. It was fun but definitely tiring. It took us forever to reach Nasugbu, Batangas. Good thing my team is the wackiest group that there was never a dull moment while on our way.

Banjo's in town and it has been a couple of years since I last saw him. I'm looking forward to meet him again after few years (o ayan.. i mentioned you na ulit.. :P)

My last summer escapade would be in 2 weeks. I will be with my barkada and we will be heading to hundred Islands.. (yep, it got cancelled last month) and we are definitely pushing it through before summer ends.

I was hoping that GIBO Teodoro will win this election. I can confidently say that he is the most qualified to win the presidential seat. We need someone with brains to find solutions to our increasing multitude of national issues. I am not saying that the other presidentiables are not qualitfied but as per Gibo's credentials, he could be the only one who can save us from the misery of endless crisis our country is facing. This is not a campaign for GIBO, the period for campaign has ended few days ago but I am just expressing my thoughts. For what its worth, this is my blog. :)

I am excited for Sex and the City sequel. I am a huge fan and I can't wait to see it on the big screen.. I have discussed it with my friends that we will be watching in on a fancy movie house.. got to figure where.

I got reconnected with my long-time friend Sigfred. I knew him since 2006 back in NCO-QC. He is one of the few people I can trust and that I can be myslef without any fret. I am hoping to see him soon and I am wishing that he can visit me here in Manila. Or better, I could go there at Iloilo for a vacation.

My babe and I had a small qualm last night. I made my babe cry again and it kills me.. I hope that everything will be fine. It was actually fine because we were able to solve it but I hope that kind of argumentation won't happen again. i am sorry babe and I'm missing you so much..

Yesterday was mother's day and my Dad's birhtday at the same time. we attended an early mass and I was deeply touched by the priest's AVP entitled "liham ng isang ina". I've seen this post on FB and youtube but I have never actually seen it. Good thing I had my shades on so people won't notice my tears.. I am thankful for my mama's presence ofcourse, but I'm missing my mom so deeply. I wished she was still here so she could witness all the thing's I have achieved. But through it all, I know that she is still watching over me and my little brother.

wrath..

2010-04-18T12:51:00.003+08:00

I was not in any mood to write something, but I can't help it. There was no one that I can talk to regarding what I feel. I am upset, so upset that I was not able to sleep well last night.

I just hate the feeling of being taken for granted. I know I wasn't at all. I just can't stand the feeling of this paranoia that someone doesn't really take time to make you feel you are special and that there were so many things in this world that really matter than you do.

Hence, one might think that I am some kind of foolish or self-centered b***, but I wasn't. I just felt like it wasn't fair at all. I was patient and I can go over beyond the limits of being patient. But I am only human. I can feel and it so happen that I can get hurt.

If that is the case, go ahead. Do your stuff. If you can survive for 3 days without even trying to reach me, then so be it.

terrified..

2010-04-03T23:21:00.002+08:00

The song that recently made me cry :(

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
in my only

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
In my only life

melancholy..

2010-03-21T12:59:00.003+08:00

After my Singa experience.. there's not so much things I did for the past few days. My weekly Pampanga trip became a routine and that of the daily work out and super early morning shift.

I am struggling with my trying-hard-to-be-fit as possible. I am getting huge by the minute. Eating home-cooked meals are so hard to resist. My summer activities are so much hectic that I couldn't figure how am I going to make everything's possible.

My Bangkok tour with Jette is still on hold though, work issues. Issues that makes me stressed out and make my nights sleepless. I am worried, not just for my career but for my reps as well. Some of them got their own family and that they needed the job so badly.

I may be going to "Hundred Islands" by mid-month of April, right after the Holy week. I wouldn't have any activity this coming holy week. It has been a family custom that holy week should not be spend on any vacation but rather finding it solemnity as a time to reflect.

But above all these activities, I still long for one thing....

twitts..

2010-03-13T22:05:00.004+08:00

Friendster, Facebook, Mulitply, blog, and now Twitter.

https://twitter.com/WayneMangune

celebration..

2010-03-07T23:15:00.007+08:00

28th Birthday in Singapore...

March 5 (8:30pm)

First time to ride a plane alone.. and 1st time to go outside the country.. I was anxious but it was great.. as they say, there's always a first time..

I arrived at Singapore at around 11:55 pm. Alain picked me up at the airport.. but before that, the immigration officer from the SINGAPORE government is very strict,.,,. but I remained calm.. but deep insisde it was nerve wrecking.

Singapore is a very clean and organized place. No smoke emission from the vehicles, no traffic, no people scattered along the public road. It was quite serene but the city is still very busy and awake amidst the time.

This country has been a home for 3 diversed but co-exsisting race of Indians, Malay and the Chinese. Filipinos play a big part of the multi-cultural Country too. Several skilled pinoy's are almost everywhere.

We went to his apartment and he toured me around the vicinity. The place looks fine but I still can't get the feeling of being outside my own country.

March 6 (day 2)

It was a busy day,. we had chinese breakfast and we ride a bus wherein you just have to swipe a card. Then we rome around the city. We went to these huge malls. There were so many of them that famous and expensive brands are very much available almost everywhere. We went to this famous Orchard road, the Marina Bay, China town, Esplanade, Durian buidling and a lot more..

At night, we went back Burgis mall and watch a movie by TIM Burton, "Alive in Wonderland". It was in 3d and it was a good one.

Everything is expensive, from cigarette, to the fare tickets. The things I bought for pasalubong are all expensive but everything is worth it.

We had a last stop at this fancy place.. and painted the town red.

March 7 (day 3, birthday)

The weather is very humid but the wind continuously blows towards the horizon. After our bountiful indian/chinese meal for our lunch, we went to Vivo City. It was another high-end type of mall where all signature and leading brands are sold.

We went to this "FOOD REPUBLIC" and I was in awe because of the it's theme. It is Old-style Chinese village. I took a lot of pictures.

We then bought a ticket for SENTOSA and one for the main attraction of sentosa which is the "Songs of the sea". to go there, we had to ride another train but it was made mainly to bridge the mall to the Sentosa Island.

unfortunately, Universal Studios Singapore is not yet open. It is still under construction. Resorts World, on the other hand, is already in full operation. There was a HUGE Merlion is situated between the Universal Studios and the Sentosa beach.

I felt like I was in the Boracay when we've reached the Silosa Beach. It has white sand and a couple of resorts ans bard. Amazingly, unlike Bora, it is just man-made.

We tried this SKyline and LUGE.. it was a cable ride and at the end of it, you'll drive back with this ala-go kart,, it's called LUGE.. that's all I can say to describe it.

Finally, we watched the "Songs of the sea". It is a combination of fireworks, water fountain and visual laser lights all in one. It was such a nice presentation.

When we went back to the mall, we had a fine dining at this "Fig and Olive" to at least celebrate my birthday. The food was succumbing that I forgot that I was on a diet.

Went home by riding this interconnected MRT.

214...

2010-02-13T13:00:00.003+08:00

For some,this day might be a significant day since it is the day when lovers get to spend time with their partners with the rest of the couples in the world. It is valentines day. For Chinese, it is the first day of their traditional calendar. For me, it marks the 3rd month of our relationship. I am so pleased to celebrate this day with my loved one.

So many things happened the past few days. Career wise, I achieved one of the things I've been longing for, to be a team leader. It took me 5 years, 3 huge company, 3 departments, and gazillions (exaggeration)of new people i meet along the way. But everything paid off. I owe this to every friends and every supporters I had for the past years of work hard and perseverance.

I still can't believe it for it happen unexpectedly. But now, I am more willing to learn new things and to battle with the new "real" world i am now in.

For a short period of time, I was blessed with bountiful things, that includes you. This 214, I am giving you all what I can give, my love and my existence.

Happy hearts day...

Anniversary..

2010-02-05T23:50:00.003+08:00

Five years of blogging

It was 2005 when I first learned about the world of Blogging. I tried it for curiosity sake amidst the fact that I am not techie person and I am not really inclined when it comes to writing. I just wanted to use this as a medium for expressing my thoughts. It may not have been updated on a regular basis but I made it a point that I put something on it. And whenever I wanted to say that I couldn't say or express, this is where I put it.

Every pages, every entry, and every update has it's own story. This blog became the witness of every triumph, every failure, every smile, every fulfilled dreams, every exciting experience.

And now it has been 5 years. It may not be a famous one, or controversial, but one thing's for sure. It may have touched lives. It may have inspired others. I may have shared the lessons I've learned from this life. I may not have millions, thousands, or hundreds of followers, but this is me. This is my life. You may like all the things I put here or you may hate it but we can not deny the fact that this is me, the real me and my story.

Thanks for your time. If you love it, then continue to follow my way down to the road of life.

cheers!

touched...

2010-01-24T00:31:00.005+08:00

"No one stood up for you"

"I know you don't like me, and you have every right not to like me. I have abused my power, but now I'm here on your turf. What I need to say... What I need to say is I saw what your mother was doing. I saw how neglected you were, I saw her drive your father off. And, I spent a lot of time beating myself up about that. But, what does that do for you? Nothing. Nothing! I wasn't your advocate. I didn't fight for you. I never stood up for you. I left myself off the hook. I told myself I was young, and didn't know any better. But, I did know better. I wasn't much younger than you are now. I should have fought for you Meredith. Like you fought for that child today. I told myself that I wasn't your father, that it wasn't my responsibility, that I was right not to butt in. I let myself off the hook. You were helpless. You were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny little girl, and no one stood up for you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. -Richard to Meredith.." last episode on Season 5

I was blown away with this episode.. and yes, I was a bit late watching it.. it was shown early last year. These words of Richard to Meredith pinch every nerve in me. They act brialliantly.. I love this particular scene. i can't wait to watch the next season!

bang...

2010-01-02T22:51:00.004+08:00

Today is the second day of the year. It is the first saturday and it seems like I'll be spending it at home.. Just home.. For the past year, almost all satudays were spend lurking down the streets of Angeles City. Yes, just here in Pampanga. After the incident in Manila early last year, I get to have some time to spend it with friends and Family.

And now it is 2010.. Time flies!

As I post on my FB account, last month, it was the 6th year of my Friendster account. Then next month, it will be my blog's 5th year.. I can still remember the time when I first hook my self in to the blogging world... and now.. I'm still blogging..

I just hope this will be a year for me.. 2009 is full of unpredictable memories.. but moving on would not be possible if we do not know how to let things go..

Holding grudges would not let us go on.. it would just keep us from the misery of yesterday. We may fail, but we should know when to rise above anything else. Then learn from the past.

We were given another year, another chance to make things right.

Happy Birthday Jesus

2009-12-25T09:24:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas world...

because..

2009-12-14T01:36:00.003+08:00

kasi mahal kita....

Ewan ko ba kung anung naisip ko.. bat ko pa nagawa yun.. hindi ka naman strict sa'kin.. ba't nagawa ko pang magsinungaling.. Di nako natuto.. iwas lagi sa issue... ta's pag nagkakabukuhan.. umaapela pa.. haay.. pero ganun pa man. proud pa rin ako sa sarili ko.. hinarap ko ito.. hinarap kita.. di ko na nakuhang magkubli or magpaliwanang pa... hinarap ko anu man ang maging reaksyon mo.. hinarap ko kahit alam kung kaya mo kong sigawa.. hiyain.. or sumbatan.. kasi mahal kita...

Pero sa puntong ito... kahit sobrang mahal kita.. di na maiibalik ng panahon.. na minsa'y na dismaya kita.. na minsa'y nagsinungaling ako.. na minsa'y nasaktan kita.. at di na mababago ng kapalaran iyon...

Gaano man ako kagaling magpaliwanang.. hindi na maibabalik nun ang nasira mong tiwala..

Ganun pa man... sana hindi nagbagoang pagtingin mo sa kin.. mahal kita.. yun ang alam ko.. tama ang sabi nila.. naguumpisa pa lang ang laban.. hindi ako bibitaw..

kasi mahal kita..

savouring.. (cont.)

2009-11-25T17:28:00.004+08:00

November 23:

I thought I will not see you anymore. I did not expect for I don't want to be disappointed. It's better this way, but I was surprised. I received a text from you and you wanted me to go to the mall and meet you there. I just found myself rushing to that mall. I saw you.. you were standing there.. and remained beautiful.

You invited me for a cup of coffee.. I ordered one of my favorite, Caramel Macchiato. As we sat there, you gave me a present. I was surprised as I open the present. It was a bear. It was the same exact bear a gave you the other day....

We decided to watch "New Moon" and you keep on telling me that I looked like the lead guy.. But I don't agree,,, I am not mushy as he is.. I more than mushy.. i'm in love... (lol).

Then It's time for us to part, a difficult thing to do. I was bleeding like hell deep inside me, as if it was the end for the two of us. I kept on bleeding, though I did not let you see it. My heart is tormented. I can't see you go. I found you and there's not way I'm letting go.

But it is a reality that I have to face. A reality to accept the fact that we will be thousand miles apart. But the fact that we may not be together physically, i know that our hearts are binded. We're together on this. we found each other... I won't let go.. I won't wait for you, but instead, wait for me.. i'm comming for you..

savouring the moment

2009-11-23T11:05:00.003+08:00

November 14:

I had a second thought of leaving, but I had a previous commitment to work overtime so I failed to catch you at the airport.. I arrived in Pampanga half past 1. Aimiff is texting me already and I told him I can't go. I went to out to meet Pam. I ran out of clothes that is why I decided to buy some stuff. We parted right after.

We've decided to finally meet up. I didn't expect what I felt that very moment. You were laughing but I was so nervous. I played it cool and we talked things out. We meet up your friend and my friends. Then we decided to hop to another place. It was a total fun.. we had our first kiss... we were in love.. we made it our day... to remember.. for the two of us.. just us.

November 15:

I went out again with friends and we watched "2012". Then you followed. We had our time together, alone. We chatted, I had a nice time. Then we went to the city and stroll around. We ate balut and we called it off....

November 16:

It was time for me to leave. You wanted to see me but I couldn't. I've missed you.

November 17:

You've decided to come to Manila to meet up your friends. And I decided not to go to work instead so I can accompany you... We meet up that night, I was so happy. We went to greenbelt and we had a nice time.

November 18:

Our first lunch together. I felt sadness since we'll be parted again. Then I went to work and i missed you so badly.

November 19:

My last day at work before my vacation leave. I was so excited to meet you again.

November 20:

I arrived in Pampanga early in the morning and I had to catch some sleep. You picked me up in the afternoon and we went to pam's. You accompanied me to buy present to your dad. We went to your place and I met your family. They were very nice and accomodating. I felt comfortable with them. then we parted again as we meet emil and we went to a KTV bar until 3 am.

November 21:

It was Saturday. I decided to cook my ever "famous" pasta. My friends came along. They brought food, Silvanas and Ice cream. It was like my birthday celebration, only extra special with you around. Then we went out to help my friend find a gift. Then we parted since you have to meet your friends for dinner. I went home 'coz I was so tired. Then I accompanied my mom and pam as we watched K Brosas at the Casino Filipino. Wished you were there. Then we lost our communication and we failed to have our next plan. I am about to call it off but I was surprised when you came, It was blissful. We went to pam's then we went to a coffee shop.. It was fun as we talked things out again.. Our plans.. Our relationship...

November 22:

We don't have any plan for that day but I woke up so early and went to a Mall to buy my gift for you. I couldn't decide on what to give you but It has to be something special and memorable. So since we'll be away for a year and that I can't be with you during those special events in your life. I decided to give you 4 different gifts for our first Monthsary, our first Christmas, our first Valentines day, and your 26th birthday. Wishing to be with you during those special days.

Then we went Angeles City and stroll around. We ate "kwekwke" as per your request, and it was a total fun. We went to church then we bought Bibinkga....

You have to meet your friends and I decided to rest. You wanted to meet at night but I told you to stick to your friends for tonight since it might take you a while to be with them again.

November 23:

You're last whole day today and I don't know if you're meeting me.. It would cut me down to my vein if I would not see you for the last time.. but it's not for me to decide. I have enjoyed every single moment together and I could not really ask for more. Knowing the fact that you are just around makes me move at the edge of my sit.
As I write this, I can't help but to think of you.. your sweet words.. your warm embrace.. your succumbing kiss... I wonder when can i hold you again...

irony

2009-11-21T19:32:00.002+08:00

Hmnnn.. upon opening my blog, I pause for a while. I can't put up the right words that would best describe how I really feel. It was filled with mixed emotions. So I just stared on my pc... and then there was a pause.

Life seems to be so unpredicatble. You'll never know what will happen next so you should expect the unexpected and learn to adapt to any exhuberant change.

I was the saddest person in the world, when the storm hit me early this year. I was defeated, I struggled, I fought, I regain, I survived and I have learned. Things went smoothly to my life. I told myself that it was just one part of me.. there are other things or aspect in my life that needs my attention...

Few peron came along, but I took every single step as easy as possible. I do not want to let my self be forced and dwell in to something I am not really sure. But never that I expected that someone like you would come on a right time... on a right place..

I was gravitated to you.. even from the very first day. I was afraid but something's telling me that I am doing the right thing...

Then we've met.. finally. It was not the perfect setting but it was blissful... serene..

At a single snap, I am he happiest person again... Heaven's what I felt in the arms of an imperfect being...

But again, life has it's own way.. I am again in the midst of sadness.. sad not because this will end... but I am feeling this because we have to be apart again..

but I am thankful, beause if Cinderella has only until midnight, I was given 10 wonderful days... and I am thnakful.. because I was given a chance.. to be with you.. and to prove my worth for your love..

You may leave,, but it doesn't mean goodbye for us.. I will be waiting... I found you.. and you found me.. I'm not letting go....

TAKING CHANCES

2009-11-09T15:52:00.002+08:00

Don’t know much about your life.
Don’t know much about your world, but
Don’t want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don’t know much about my past, and
I don’t have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it’s not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

And I had my heart beating down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There’s nothing like love to pull you up,
When you’re laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do, like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there’s solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say? (2x)

Don’t know much about your life
And I don’t know much about your world

A Song for you..

Another Meredith's line

2009-11-09T12:20:00.002+08:00

"When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for, is that one day, we'll be lucky enough to forget."

Meredith Grey,
Grey's Anatomy

HAPPY by Leona Lewis

2009-11-02T04:28:00.002+08:00

Mother-son bonding

2009-09-20T01:24:00.004+08:00

I still can remember the days when me and my mom used to go somewhere.. We dine, we shop, we visit our relative's houses, we do our grocery, we attend Tupperware parties, or we go home to our province. Sometimes, my brother would go with us but most of the time, I was the only who gets to go with my mom since I'm the youngest and I wasn't going to school yet that time.

But as days passed, the trips became seldom and then I was trained to do things alone. Until I realized that I wasn't going with my mom anymore whenever she gets to leave the house and do the things we used to do, since I have to do things for myself as a grown up.

Last night, right after the mass, we decided to go out. We went to SM clark and dine at this local restaurant. After that, we watched a movie. I just thought we'll be watching "in my life" but she insisted not to because it might just make her cry, so I abide.

The ending, we watched Eugene Domingo's KimmyDora-ang kambal sa keme. It was a total fun and until now, I find myself laughing whenever I remember some of the wacky scenes. She's superb!

So there, I've been to so many places and done several things in the past, but bonding with parents is something you really can't trade for anything else in the world....

revelations 2 (somewhere in my past...)

2009-09-02T12:53:00.004+08:00

aeiou...

After 2 years, I saw you again... never thought that we would have another chance to meet up.. funny because the way we ended was not that great, I mean, It was a sad but we learned from it. We played it cool and I am happy for what we have become... You are still with someone else and that I am so happy for you..., As for me, as i told you, I definitely fine... I was just ensuring that everything is fine before I dwell on such tings right now.. I hope you find the real happiness..

30 minutes remaining..

You are the coolest person I've ever known.. taking things in a very light and bubbly way.. thanks for the time we have spent together... I enjoyed seeing you after merely 2 years but this time u are so far yet you seem near... i miss the kulitan.. and that 30 minutes..

The cube...

I just talked to you last night.. I am happy that you are happy too.. wish you all the best in life... thank you for the time and I hope you won't forget "the beyonce experience" and the mall we used to call "the cube"..

the Blonde..

Our time was short, but it was well spent.. I am happy for you too.. but I am lucky to fall in love with YOUR best friend... i know...

memoirs in greenmeadows..

damn! I miss u so much! I didn't reply last night.. I was soo tired..

Heart vs Anne

I can't run away from you so I hid you instead. And yet, I still keep on getting signs from you.. oh well.. it's a small world after all... just don't let our paths meet again... for what it's worth, I have learned to live my life alone..

and Aubrey was your name

It's good that we're good... I am hoping to see you again...
__________________

On the lighter note...

I got a long weekend recently and I did nothing but play on my facebook account or update my status and post some songs... It was fun but tiring and somehow boring.. I had a great time yesterday with my friends though.. and nice chat with some people I have known...

I know na how to download videos to my iPhone.. and for the record, i am not selling it anymore... sorry...

I failed to watch district 9, UP, and time traveler's wife.. I hope I can catch them up :)

Imagine me and you, I do..... haaay.. can'tget this out of my mind......

ur so gay

2009-08-24T07:12:00.002+08:00

by Katy Perry

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than…

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull ‘em down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no no
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA

REVALATIONS...-part 1 (lost memory...)

2009-08-23T03:56:00.003+08:00

Quarter-life crisis one of the issues someone my age should be going through. But for me, this could be one of the least thing that I needed to dwell most. I have so many things to unravel and self-pity is not one of things I should be prioritizing. The mere facts that I am blessed with achievements and am with loved ones are enough to say that I don’t have to immerse myself into obscurity.

I am sick. I found out all about this few days ago when I felt discomforts and I have to get checked. It was confirmed, I am not in a good condition though I have to undergo several test. It saddened me due to the fact that I am still young to be in these health issues. I said “these” because the conflict of my medical issues does not only revolve to one concern, it’s several.

I am not that strong. I don’t know how I managed not to panic. To let this all get in to me would not do me any good. I asked myself, why me? There are billions of people but why is it me? It’s very distressing.

My condition is not as difficult as any other heath problems, it is curable. But there are so many why that lingers into my mind. I am happy with the other things I have. To finally found someone that makes me blissful is a reason enough to celebrate and live life to the fullest. But is this the price I have to pay?

I have to admit to myself that I am still lucky that I was able to survive in the midst of the deepest fate that I have been..... (unfinished)

Written last year, I wasn't able to post this blog entry.. I just found it while cleaning up my mails...

a confession of a drifting soul...

2009-08-17T03:10:00.004+08:00

I found myself again looking outside the window from the bus while on my way home this morning to Pampanga. I just feel like doing some realizatons as the sun rises from the horizon...

I was sad again. I never thought that I would be free from it after the series of unfortunate events that shattered my world early this year. it came as a surprise as I cope so fast from the misfortunes and grievings. I even asked my friends, and myself, if it is even possible to move on that quick from an excruciating event.

Am I too positive? Did I just fool myself that I kept my mind so focused and so excited about getting the next best thing? was it only a make beleive that sun shines after every rain? Or I am not in a normal state of being since people who have encountered great sorrow takes time to heal and it only took me few months?

My friend Audrey said that maybe because it was too painful that it pushed me to move out of it and rise above. I received a message from a friend too, stating that life is like a ball being dribbles. Sometimes, you go up, but sometimes it goes down.But sometimes, the harder we fall, the higher we bounce. It is a nice thought really.

But all I am saying is that, why do I have to feel this sadness again? i asked mysekd if I have really recovered from the depression and I am positive that I have. But where does this sadness comming from? why am I not happy enough like I used to. Isn't done yet? Does really misfortunes comes in threes? is the torture never gonna end? what is it going to happen this time?

All I wanted is to get my groove back.. If love is not for me then be it.. I may not be used to being single but I can try.. more than willing to do so..
at least I want to have my life back. I want to get back the courage and the willingness to move on.. to fiind life again..

I am actually happy.. for having time, finally, for my family.. my friends.. and f or myself... I just wish I would be given a chance again.. to go again on the battle.. to go on with the dreams that I am hoping.. to dance with the tune of life again.. but sadly.. i have lost it all... I am struggling.. and I even felt that life itself is turning back at me... wherein losing hope ang giving up is not an option... but to keep on hanging.. even it's all againist the odds..
______________________________________________

On a lighter note...

I was too busy that I didn't realize that I have not been working out for 3 weeks.. I acquired additional pounds this time. The culprit? my co-QA's are fascinated with bringing food and "requiring" us to bring ours whenever we are asked to. I find it fun though, we are bonding and at the same time we are able to save money because it cost a lot whenever we eat outside.

I have watched GI Joe earlier and I finally seen a great movie this year. The only thing is that I failed to watch it at THX cinemas and I just wished that I saw it in Manila.

I am becomming a fan of Facebook nowadays but not realy with the games.

Beside the river Piedra, I sat down and weep... by Paulo Cohelio is the book that I am currently reading and hopefully I would be able to finish it by this week. I just hope I wrote the title correctly, not so sure though. Yeah, it was too long.

I got so addicted to Boys Over Flowers series due to my friends at the office. It was like a contagious that most of us were hooked to it that I even borrowed its DVD so i can finish it quicker than my colleagues. It was the only "koreanovela" I got hooked to after "endless love 1".

"Memoirs of an imperfect angel" is the new album of MIMI.. can't wait to have one. "Obsessed" is its new single and Its melody is still running inside my mind as i write this entry.

My sun number had expires.. I wasn't or should I say, i never loaded it so it came to its end.

I have not installed a game or bought any game for my PSP and PS2 but I am still in the process of scuttling the gamezone to check for good games. I know that Sony is releasing the updated version of PSP that is why the old model and its games will be phased-out soon.

I better sleep now.. it's 4 am. enough of my endless blabbing.. nyt.

what's keeping...

2009-07-20T08:17:00.002+08:00

I'm taking it back.. I'm loving my iPhone again.. I was able to "unbrick" it and now I have the updated software.. Now, I can copy, paste and forward text.. isn't that awesome?

Just had so many activities for the last days and I get so bored at work but not with my friends there coz' I just run around and make kwento to my buddies and tooo much smoking is really killing me... an issue is currently on a wild fire.. so winded and I can't blab it out here... this is my blog and there's another site that is becoming a hot spot nowadays...

I just saw Kristoffer last night at SM clark while I'm with my friends.. after 10 long years, I saw one of my buddy back in BS Architecture days.. in Baguio that is..

Facebook occupies most of my free time.. even when I'm at the mall, I always find time to check my facebook whenever WIFI is available and I even downloaded a FACEBOOK application on my iPhone.

I'm back to loving Grey's anatomy.. it was sooo great... it is making me a tear-jerker.. hope I got that right..

I have so many plans this coming months and I hope everything will fall in to places.

Someone's inspiring me.. But I don't want to dwell on it for now.. I don't want to spoil the moment.. I'm just happy... and I want to keep it that way...

Transformers 2 and Harry Potter 6 are kind of disappointing.. I read the book and I felt sorry for those who were not able to read the book... guess they missed a lot of it.. transformer's fine but I was not just fascinated.. for a fact that they got a really bad review.... the story line is really not that superb.. I guess people went to see it for the effects.. just for that I guess..

The songs "I got the feeling" by BEP, "PAPARRAZI" by Lady Gaga, "21 guns" by Greenday, "Goodbye" by Kristina Debarge are just some of teh new hits I've been playing nowadays...

I'm looking forward for the movies "Sherlock holmes", "GI Joe" and "The Ugly truth".

iPhone

2009-07-14T10:47:00.003+08:00

right after I'v e learned that it is too easy to upgrade the software of my iPhone on iTunes, I went ahead and tried to get the new version.. and to my surprise, I got locked out and it doesn't recognize my SIM anymore. It was so terrible!And now I have to go to Greenhills pa or St. Francis Square to have it fixed.

I guess it is just so timely that I have to have it changed to something better since I am way too pissed about it. I just don't know if I am just not a techie person or it is not just good at all. In the first place, I never liked it and I never hear any good comments from the users about it.

But for now, maybe I just have to deal with it! But wait till I get my LG!

aim if you can...

2009-07-12T13:39:00.004+08:00

I'm so godamn excited about you, about us.. What the hell happened to me? Why did I ignore you the first time I was with you? and now I feel sorry for myself.. because I missed a lot of times that we could have been together.. that we could have shared some of the good memories together.. and now i have to start from the scratch.. I was hoping that it is not too late.. i want you to know me.. I want you to feel me.. I want my world to revolve around your world.. It's insane.. it's nuts.. seems like I never learned from the past and now here I am again.. ready to take the risk,, ready to take the battle...

but u are scared.. i am too.. but let us see..

emo song

2009-07-06T01:31:00.001+08:00

Every now and then I cry
Every night you keep stayin' on my mind
All my friends say I'll survive
It just takes time

CHORUS
But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can if it's broken all apart
A million miracles could never stop the pain
Or put all the pieces together again
No I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can while we are still apart
And when you hear this song
I hope that you will see
That time won't heal a broken-hearted me

Every day is just the same
Playin' games, different lovers, different names
They keep sayin' I'll survive
It just takes time

CHORUS

Time won't heal a broken-hearted me

gone too soon....

2009-07-05T08:02:00.002+08:00

It was very evident that during my childhood days, I was a fanatic of Michael Jackson. His moves were amazing that I tried to copy him so hard during my younger days. It is still a vivid memory for me how my tito's and tita's asked me to perform for them during my 4th birthday. I was not ashamed at all as I danced one of his hit "Beat it" from his thriller album. I wasn't able to do the moonwalk though.. but it was fun. Until I've grown listening to his hits. I never bought any of his albums but I see to it that I am updated with his new hits.

I even remember envying my classmates who were able to watch his one-night-only concert in manila during the 90's. Fascinated with his sad songs, "Childhood", "gone too soon", "She's out of my life", and "you are not alone", I used to borrow my sister's "song hits" and scan its pages and practice these songs.

Just last year, I downloaded his songs to my iPod to relive the memories of childhood and my early teenage years. His Album "thriller" celebrated it's 25th year after its release.

And to my surprise, last thursday, June 25, The King of Pop passed away at the only age of 50. It is not yet clear the reason for his passing but the world was shocked with this very sad news....

MJ, you are indeed an inspiration to many.. Some mocked you, tried to pull you down... but you stood and recovered.. you fought well from the battle you were in that anyone could ever imagine.. I looked up to you...

I wished you peace from the after life as you are now in a much happier place..... As Mariah Said, your star will shine forever... you are indeed, the real Peter Pan..

-wayne-fan

Childhood

Written and composed by michael jackson.
Produced by michael jackson.

Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for the world that I come from
’cause I’ve been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
’cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I’m not okay
’cause I love such elementary things...
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the childhood
I’ve never known...

Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my childhood?

People say I’m strange that way
’cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the childhood I’ve never known...

Have you seen my childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I’ve had

Have you seen my childhood....

fill me in!!

2009-06-22T05:18:00.003+08:00

Happy Father's day

2009-06-21T08:39:00.001+08:00

I'm glad to be your son.. thank you so much for always believing in me...

The man who can't be moved

2009-06-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

by the scprit

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some people try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

Cuase If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cuase you'll know it's just for you
Im the man who can't be moved

Chorus 2x

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

PARA SA MGA TAONG HINDI PA KSI MAG MOVE ON NA LANG!!!

Happy Ending

2009-06-10T04:17:00.000+08:00

by Avril Lavign

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

anticipatons..

2009-06-04T23:15:00.003+08:00

It's June.. start of the rainy season.. goddbye to Summer and hello rain... It's been raining the past few days and I can't help it but to just stay at home and enjoy the serenity of being Home-alone. It was so nice to sleep the whole day.. havent been to the gym for a coule of days now, but once I have my groove back, I'll hit the gym again.

It is the start of summer in the US and I have been looking forward to the movies what will be shown this season. I am a fan of Harry Potter and I have posted so many blog entries about it. I am so excited with the new Harry Potter movie, it is one of the flick that I am anticipating. I am also looking forward for Transformers 2, Ice age 3, Up, G.I. Joe, and the chick flick, "The proposal".

I have no plans yet for this comming weekend but I might stay home because I am also anticipating my new possesion, that I've been wanting to have.. it's gonna be a secret from now. It is just overwhenling because I will have this "thing" through the kindess of a dear friend.

JUNE- birthday month for most of the special persons of my life. My friends, Pham, 17th, Emil, 13th, Noy, 16th, ex, 9th, my mom 17th, my sister 21st, and my cousin Aibee on the 22nd.

on letting go

2009-05-28T22:00:00.001+08:00

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.

wala lang, sinend lang ni Banjo sa email ko at naaliw nmn daw ako

Another tiring weekend

2009-05-25T14:00:00.002+08:00

After the crazy trip last week, I went home again to my dearest hometown and spent some time with my family. I missed hanging around at home and I was able to get enough sleep. Imagine 15 long hours of non-stop-snoring sleep. I woke up so relieved as if I'm a brand new person again.

Last Friday I watched "Angel's and Demons" with noy before going to work and last night, Sunday, I was with Pham and Emill and we watch "Night at the Museum 2". The two movies are good.. nothing really extra-ordinary. After which, we decided to talk things out over a coffee and since Emill can't wait for next week for another KTV night, we suddenly found ourselves singing our lungs out at our fave tambayan... Wishing well.

I wasn't able to see my other friends and unfortunately, I won't be able to come home next week because of series of activities with my Office friends. I am enjoying every bit of it and trying to just focus on the things I should be doing in the first place.

I will be living alone again since my housemates will be moving out this week. I think that it would really be better off if I am going to be alone for the next few months. It will be easier for me to do things alone.

My friends are also bothered by me because I am asking them to think for "hobbies" that I might be delving myself into. I just want to do things I have never done before and I am, again, envious of my other friend's hobbies... I just feel like i have more time to spend even I have workloads, gym, home, gimik with friends.

You're In Love

2009-05-21T22:19:00.002+08:00

Wilson Philipps

Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
Don't know how long it has been
Having those feelings again.

And now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus:]
Aah, my love, Aah
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy
You're in love
And I know
That you're not in love with me
Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

Sometimes it's hard to believe
That you're never coming back to me
I've had this dream that you'd always be by my side
Oh I could have died.

But now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free.
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus]

I tried to find you but you were so far away
I was praying that fate would bring you back to me
Someday, someday, someday... Ooh, you're in love

Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

[Fade]

Minalin Trip - Summer ender

2009-05-18T12:27:00.007+08:00

I had a very crazy trip to the suburbs of Minalin Pampanga this weekend... It was a one-of-a-kind experience with my Pampanga Hommies.. It was such a blast.. did some stuff for the first time like fishing, cruising on a super mini boat, exploring the safaric ambiance of the Minalin river, Camping beside a huge fish pond, and doing some agricultural stuff for my friend's hobby - Bonsai.

We themed the trip as Survivor-Minalin!

I had posted some pics on my Facebook account for the complete photos.. hope you'll enjoy them as much as I did.

heartless

2009-05-15T06:31:00.002+08:00

Kris from American Idol nailed the competition as he was the first to be picked for the finals… He performed “heartless” by kanye west and I can say that he knocked it down… I was amazed with his performance.. I never liked the song until he sang it.. now I am excited for the finals next week…. I would go for Adam.. but if Kris would sing another “heartless” then, it would be a big challenge for him..

heartless by Kris Allen

Heartless

Kanye West
In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so,
Cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo
Just remember that you talking to me yo
You need to watch the way you talking to me you know
I mean after all the things that we been through
I mean after all the things we got into
And yo I know of some things that you ain't told me
And yo I did some things but that's the old me
And now you wanna get me back
And you gon' show me
So you walk around like you don't know me
You got a new friend
Well I got homies
But in the end it's still so lonely

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so Dr. Evil
You're bringing out a side of me that I don't know
I decided we weren't gonna speak so why we up 3 a.m. on the phone
Why does she be so mad at me for, homie I don't know she's hot and cold
I won't stop, won't mess my groove up cause I already know how this thing goes,
You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see,
You'll never find nobody better than me

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk,
Baby lets just knock it off
They don't know what we been through
They don't know 'bout me and you
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
and you can't make it right
Im gon' take off tonight
Into the night...

In the night I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless... oh
How could you be so heartless?

an excerpt from Madel's email

2009-05-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

I swallowed all my pride until nothing was left for me.. but I guess I can no longer blame myself since I’ve done my part.. The most painful part is that I’ve asked so many signs.. and all of the signs came to life.. everything.. so I held on.. knowing that things will be good for me.. for us.. but no matter what, how much you love the person, if it’s really not meant for you, then there’s nothing you can do.. I used to believe that Love conquers all.. but it turned out that it is just a make believe.. for people who continue to fool their themselves… I still cry, especially right now.. that there’s no choice but to accept it and move on… I just think that I am not the only one who suffered from what happened.. that time will heal all wounds.. that there would be life after this

Bring Me to Life

2009-05-10T15:19:00.001+08:00

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 20 friends (make me #21 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE ASKS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
>>Moonlight over paris by Paolo Santos

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
>> When I met you (APO)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
>> The Scientist (Coldplay)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
>> My Humps (BEP)-- weird

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
>> Weeping willows, cocktails (Regine)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
>>Clouds across the room (Regine)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
>> If you Seek Amy (Britney- hahahaha)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
>> HOME (Michael Buble)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
>>Breaking My Heart Again (Aqualung)-- tsk tsk tsk

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
>>Tonight (JOnas Bros)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
>>Stepping through (resident hero)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
>> One Last Cry (Brian Mcnight) -ouch!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
>> O.O.C. (Mariah E=MC2)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
>> When I grow up (PCD)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
>>Fallen (Lauren Wood)-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
>> If this isn't love (JHud)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
>> If you're not the One (D.Beddingfeild)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
>> Left behind (Aqualung)-Nice

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
>> Beatiful, Dirty, Rich (Lady Gaga) - hahahaha.. Amazing!!

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
>> Here without you (3 doors down)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
>> Feedback (Janet jackson)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
>> Bring me to Life (Evanesence)

.....a notebook entry from my Facebook account, I find it cool..

Bohol trip

2009-05-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

not much...

2009-05-08T08:15:00.003+08:00

it's been gloomy the past few days due to the typhoon "emong". I'll a have 3 days off and I don't know if I can go out because of the weather.. Been slacking-off the past few days at work because it's just the first week of the Month.

I've seen "Wolverine" and it I find it good. They made him very likeable, very human knowing his attitude and guts. I'm excited about the next one, Magneto. I hope it will be better than Wolverine.

I am looking forward for "Angels and Demons" too. I forgot the storyline but I have a book and it's a bit thick, I might be just browsing it later since it has Photos (illustrated edition.. hehehe).

I just told my friend that I had an LSS (Last Song Syndrome) with "Just Dance" by lady Gaga.. It keeps on playing on my mind...

it's over

2009-05-05T05:05:00.004+08:00

I's done... It's finally over.. I should not be whining about it.. and there should be no more post about it.. everything has been said and done.. It's exhausting.. painful and traumatic... lessons learned.. it's all behind me now... all I want is to move on... and be happy...

And yes, I'm currently upset, so upset coz' I let you make me stupid... to beleive in your lies.. your deception... bitter as it may sound.. but you ruined me..

One thing's for sure.. what goes around, comes around.. don't forget that...

bleed

2009-05-01T00:40:00.003+08:00

It is so painful on my part that you were ousted from the company.. it cuts so deep... all the memories we've shared lingers within the four walls of this room.. I am not used to not seeing you around.. just your presence made me go on.. made me live.... You just don't have any idea how I feel right now... it's bleeding right through my vein, right through my soul.. I just don't know how to surpass this.. it is worse than the day you left...

passing by...

2009-04-22T01:05:00.002+08:00

for 3 days now, I was doing absolutely nothing.. as in just at work but just chating or simply just staring at my monitor... The application we used for our monitors is not working so we really have to stand by...

I'm excited with my Bohol trip.. at last, I would have time to relax and plunge into the cystal clear waters of it's famous beaches. I'm really looking forward for this..

sigh... that's all I can do..

2009-04-19T01:22:00.002+08:00

Got so tired from the trip and yesterday's activity. Earlier, I attended another event not so far from my Alma matter. it was so overwhelming to be in the place again after 10 years and there were so many memories that suddenly came in to my senses.. I just love doing some reminiscing.. well, that's all I can do anyway... here's another good song that I just added on my playlist...

--------------------

If This Isn't Love Lyrics
by Jennifer Hudson

I’m calling his phone up
Just to tell him how much
I really love him ‘cause
His everything I want
He listens to me, he cares for me
So I truly believe

God sent me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

I’m selfish ‘cause I don’t
Wanna share him with nobody
Not even knows
People that came before me
But see, I never believed

God would send me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh

So if you got real love
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
The kind of love that fits quite like a drug
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
If this isn’t love
‘Cause I know I ain’t crazy
I know I ain’t tripping
I know I ain’t slipping
I know that is love
You see me with my hands up
If you think I’m dreaming
I know I ain’t dreaming
‘Cause this is the reason I love him because
If this isn’t love

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

Love, L-O-V-E
Love, L-O-V-E

quick update... lol

2009-04-15T08:50:00.002+08:00

It's going to be a chaotic month for me.. imagine handling the whole segment.. It makes me chill.. the responisibility and the task... It's going to be like the work of a Manager... it's driving me nuts...

Can't wait to get a tan again.. can't wait for BOHOL..

First time again to go to gym.. after the holy week.... and here I am.. doing this post..

I trust you. that's all I can say...

facebook

2009-04-11T15:37:00.002+08:00

I am finally in.. hahaha.. after a long time.. I have my own FB, thanks to my friends and they are so good.. I had a hard time creating one since I'm not so familiar with it unlike conventional FS, which I had since 2003.

Holy week seems to be so fast.. It just passed me by.... few of my friends were outside the metro and I had some invitaion.. I opted to go home to Angeles. it's an out of town though... I just stayed home and met some of my friends.. it was just fine.. nothing extra ordinary about it...

see yah around...

Match Made In Heaven........

2009-04-06T22:43:00.004+08:00

Brewed Coffee and a stick of cigarette.. then listen to India Arie...it would make your day... haaaaayyyy... get back to work wayne!

your thoughts.....

2009-04-06T05:34:00.006+08:00

know this is just the start of my summer adventure..
I'm just so Happy.. never felt like this before..
Thank You So Much..

-March 28, 2008

Today, April 27 is a very extraordinary day for me..
Bliss..
Happiness..
Heaven..
I’m just so happy..

I’m done for today, can’t wait to go home..
P.S
I Love You…

-April 27, 2008

This could not be possible without YOU….
You had me up-side-down when I met YOU…
I am staying…
Forever…

-June 9, 2008

Just to share, my significant other actually cooked the BEST pasta in the World.. Bought a Jr. cake and some chix and cola to complete the simple menu.. Very few friends came and we had fun...
To you..
Thank you so much for coming in my life..

-June 10, 2008

````~~~~~~

All these sweet thoughts are just for me to keep..........
but I couldn't help but wonder.. yes, what realy went wrong?

...............

2009-04-05T12:19:00.001+08:00

The Heart Of The Matter - India Arie -

"The Heart Of The Matter"

2009-04-03T23:37:00.006+08:00

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work they put between us,
You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my heart is so shattered
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know they hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily everafter
And my heart is so shattered
But I know it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if you don't love me anymore
Even if you don't love me anymore

used to be..

2009-04-03T22:00:00.002+08:00

It’s sad to accept how time flies so fast…

That the person was once your world…

The one you start and end your day with…

The reason of your existence…

Had just swiftly turn into someone
Who only says “hi” or just give you
a quick smile now…

Or worse, had just become a familiar face..

What if...

2009-03-30T23:02:00.004+08:00

I have not cried the past few days... I thought I am doing ok.. until I heard this over our lunch with my Manager, this midnight at mcDonalds, while smoking... It just made my tears fall...

I ran into a friend of yours the other day
And I asked her how you been
She said my girl is fine jus bought a house
Got a job a real good man
I told her I was glad for u that?s wonderful
But does she ever ask bout me
She said

shes happy with her life right now

Let her go let her be

And I told myself I would
but something in my heart would just not let you go
I just want to know

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

Your friend asked me if there was some1 special
in my life that I was seeing
I told her there was no1 in particular
There?s jus I myself and me
I told her that I dream of you quite often
she jus cut her eyes at me

she said you?ve got a home you?re very happy
so just stop your meddling

I told her that I won't
I said that things were cool
but I guess I was wrong

I still cant move on

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

Now that could be my car
that could be my house
that could be my baby boy
that you?re nursing
that could be the trash
That I always take out
that could be the chair
I love to chill in

That could be my food on the table at the end of the day
hugs and the kisses all the love being made
what the hell do u expect me to say

what if its really supposed be this way
what if you?re really supposed to be with me

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

What if we were wrong about each other
what if you were really made for me
what if we were supposed to be together
would that not mean anything
what if that was supposed to be my house
that you go home to everyday
how can you be sure that things are better
if you cant be sure your heart ain?t still here with me
Still wanting me

```````````~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've waited all of my life to find someone like you.. I can wait another lifetime just to be with you again"

if only for one night

2009-03-24T23:22:00.002+08:00

bu Luther Vandross

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I won't tell a soul
No one has to know
If you want to be totally discreet
I'll be at your side
If only for one night

Your eyes say things i never hear from you
And my knees are shakin too
But i'm willin to go thru
I must be crazy
Standin in this place
But i'm feeling no disgrace

For asking......

Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night

I tell you what i need is
One night, one night oh (and oh, oh)
What i need is
One night, one night
Of your love, of you love, of your lovin ooh
I'm asking...

Let me take you home
To keep you safe and warm
Till the early dawn
Warms up to the sun
It would be so nice if only for one night

If only for one night
If only for one night
If only for one night, night, night, yeah one night
If only for one.........night

I just so love this song.. it doesn't remind me of something though.. I just heard it over the radio.... this day seems to be a little different.. I feel like I'm getting better as days goes by

step by step, little by little.

2009-03-23T05:52:00.003+08:00

It is another boring sunday at work though I still have to finish a lot of stuff. This day seems to be better compared from the previous days. I am more composed and I can think better after everything that happened. I may not be fully recovered yet but I am positive that I am almost there. It is somehow exciting to face tomorrow with a smile on my face, inspite of not knowing what wil happen next. The pain from yesterday still lingers but It is now, somehow, manageable.

Last night, I spoke to my sister and admitted everything to her, as in everything. I gasp my breath in releif because it was a little step to free myself from my own seclusion. I also confide about my plans within the next few days and I am pleased that she agreed to support such decisions.

Another little step that I have to make is to stay away from the 2 person I am seeing the past few days, a brave and compelling decision. I have to do it because not for anyone else but for myself. I know for a fact that it will not at all help me to go on. It will also be unfair, not just for me, but for them. I can not use them just for a selfish reason. But I am happy because they understood my assesment, but I thank them for the short span of time that I spent with them knowing that I still can not replace the person that I used to be with.

In the process of healing, I have to keep a positive environment. Though alone at times, I have to use it to assess all the plans that I made. I am also thankful to all those people that I was surrounded with during that darkest days of my life. They stood up for me like a candle in the midst of a murky tunnel.

I still cry, most of the moment when I remenisce the memories. It is he hardest thing to fight. I tried not to think of them, because it may just bring back the aches, but I decided to keeo them. I can not just throw them away.

Acceptance is another process of healing, but I can say that I am half way there. I want to be fine, I want to live a normal life but I guess, and everyione would, it will take time.

Someday, the sun will shine.... I will not be afraid anymore.. Someday, I will be thankful to what happened, because it thought me, to be strong.. to love and be love.. and someday, I will love again.

You (feb 29, 08)

2009-03-16T01:05:00.002+08:00

Alone..
Desterted..
Abandoned..
The best lexis to describe myself what went before..

Dull..
Lifeless..
Dim..
Moments which i should have not bypass.. But no regrets... It's worth the wait.. YOU came... All things alter..

Contented..
On cloud nine..
Euphoria..
Feelings on no account i felt facing..

Continue..
Dwell..
Carry on..
Standpoint that i don't want to put an end to...

Life..
Breath..
Soul..
Means of me being worthy..

Love..
Other Half..
Adoration..
These i pledge...

End..
Conclusion..
Finale..
Will only be the day that i depart this life..

Your first blog entry... happiest moment of my life

here is my first entry ablout you

lifted (december 08)

It's been a turmoil... never ending slope... That's how I describe the life I had for almost 2 months...... it was really a roller coster ride... like a 360 degrees turnaround....

Failed relationship lead to another... almost gave up but still hang on to the hope that someday.. a final destination will be fulfilled... and there you came....

Out of the reverie... you change my life completely...

I was submerged into nothingness... you came when I least expected you to... and there you are, a promise that I thought I wouldn't do...

I know that we have a long road to travel on.. but I am not afraid anymore.. coz I know that you will be there with me until we reach the end of othis journey...

Let's start a new and forget all the miseries and troubles we once had.. and I can assure you that the love you never had will be unselfishly be given to only you...

"I once was lost into darkness... you lifted me... lifted me up... keep me and I will keep you forever in my arms......."

"I Stay In Love"

2009-03-15T23:33:00.002+08:00

Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you

Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know

[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

[Chorus x2]

I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.

----

I don't know what I'm still doing..
you already pushed my away and you're inlove with someone else
I tried to forget you but I really can't. Now that you said that I have to move on, why am I still crying in pain.. I tried to let you go.. I really did.. I even tried to tell him to take care of you.. because you deserve to be happy.. because he loves you too... but I can why can't I go on with my life.. knowing that you still love me to...

-
bed, 03/14/09
-----

I did all I can.. but I guess you're already giving up.. maybe I have to face it. alone... but I know that sun will shine on me....

office, 3/15/09

a month of agony

2009-03-08T06:57:00.003+08:00

I'm not really sure if I'm ready for this or what. It's been a month since the greatest turmoil of my life. It does sound awkward.... bitter and painful but it was a harsh reality that I had to face and to go through.. I was left desolated in agony, a moment in my life I never thought that will come.. I was blinded with love and care but never did i thought that it will end this way.. cruel and excruciating..

It was the same love that transcend our relationship and the same love that almost ended this life.. I tried to lift myself from the misery and tried to move on.. But I just really can’t.. You’re the life that I once had and it made me a lot better person.. Even if you left, I just can’t go on… I really can’t let go..
They said that by loosing you would only mean that the next best thing will come… But giving up would only mean that I accepted the fact that I will lose you.. something that I really can’t bear at all.. It was a harsh reality but I am more than willing to put up the fight..

Not until you say so.. Not until you want me to stop.. Not until you want me to give it up..
I would not have the courage to fight until you say that you don’t have the same feelings anymore… until you want me to surrender.. It was a fact that I have to face.. A struggle that I have to deal with..
But one thing’s for sure.. Life without you would mean an end to this life..
_________________________________```~~..,,,

YESTERDAY

I just can't believe you're gone
Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise
In the way that you're by my side ooo
When we had so much in store
Tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When we're through building memories
I'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They can take the music that will never play
All the broken dreams, take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go,
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday

You always use to say
I should be thankful for everyday
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or least how the story goes
I never believed them til now
I know I'll see you again I'm sure
No it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they can't take yesterday
[ Find more Lyrics on www.mp3lyrics.org/xq ]

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They take the music that will never play
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

I thought our days would last forever
But it wasnt our destiny
Cuz in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
Now I can believe that
I can still find the strengh in the moments we made
I'm lookin back on yesterday

[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made (plans we made)
They take the music that will never play (I know)
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams),
take everything (take everything)
Just take it away, but they can never have yesterday (yesterday)

They can take the future that we'll never know (never know)
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams (oh the broken dreams), take everything
Just take it away (take everything)
But they can never have yesterday

Oh the broken dreams, take everything
But they can never have yesterday

2009-02-11T09:44:00.000+08:00

Ano nuevo!!!

2009-01-19T00:28:00.002+08:00

New year.
Good thing to start all over again. A new begining gor a new self. I want to be fit, again. I want to achieve the figure that I used to have 2 years ago and I'll be going back to the same gym.. I'm excited about it. I want to save. I'm not getting any younger.. I should be saving for the future... I'll be 27 within the next few days and I can't help but think about my future.

New House.
I just moved to another place but with the same area, just different building. It was exciting because I bought new furnitures for my new room and for the "mini" kithchen. I spend the money that I was able to save from the previous xmas pay for my new stuff. I think this will motivate me more to changes I'm about to dealt with.

New Reps.
Yes, additional reps for me and that would only mean more task.

New look?
Hmmnnn,,, back on top please.

New mind-set.
To be more career oriented and to strive more this year. I want to move up. It's been a year with my current position and as we mature as a paerson, we wanted to keep going and see what else can we give.

New Experiences.
I want to do things I wish I could have done before. As of now, I can't think of any details but once the idea poopped out from my head. I just want to experience something new this time.

New Priorities.
Hopefully not.

holliday fever

2008-12-28T23:11:00.005+08:00

If the christmas will be considered as a fever, it's definitely and undoubtedly an outbreak by now.

Yes, I was a fan but right after I realized that there's more than the gift-giving, the partying, the festives, the shopping, and the over-eating that can be best descibed as "gluthony", it suddenly came to me that most of us are overdoing "CHRISTMAS".

Bitter as it may seem but I say It was a not-so-happy christmas for me this year. I can't still decipher the reason for all this uncertainties.It was surprisingly a desolate and melancholic holiday for me.

I've been to parties, I've bought the good stuff I've been yielding for months, I kept in touch with old friends, I am so happy with my partner and monetary speeking, I should say it was more than enought, but It left me in despair as the christmas day itself approached.

As I tried to figure it out, It just made me more sad.. as ever. I am facing this loneliness in the midst of christmas. I am not alone.. I was never alone.. But the felling of "something's lacking" made me feel uncomfortable, it almost made me shed a tear.

It was not kaartihan, I guess, I missed a lot of things and I can't do anything to bring them back. As a kid, I had so many unforgettable christmas and some of it are not-so-nice ones. back then, I tried to convince my self that I may not be one of the lucy kids who celebrate the season with their families, with delightful presents, with delicious dishes on their tables, and a "cultured" holiday, but at least I get to be with the ones who raised me and that completes it.

To cut everything, I wasn;t with my family because they're not around. My parents (foster) stayed in Bohol, and my siblings (foster din) are all out of country, so I have to be at the office since I had a shift... but again, I was not alone.. I'm just lonely...

But the new year was great... I welcome the year with a blast at "the fort" and it was, I can say, a lot better that christmas. On new year's day, I stayed at the "Leonen's" with my friends and hang around...

the holliday was exhausting and emotionaly draining.... but saving the best for last is always the best thing to do.. thanks for the presents.. I appreciate them a lot!

catching up again

2008-12-08T01:42:00.004+08:00

It took me years to update my blog (exaggeration)... I guess time run so fast that that I couldn't barely recall the last time I even viewed my own BLOG. I have not missed a single month in updating my file but this year seems to be anticipated due to the demands of my JOB. Being a Quality Analyst is more than just a job. It entails a very dreary routine that left me lifeless, most of the time that is.

But on the bright side, I always try to find time to be cheery whenever opportunity knocks on my very own doorstep. From the flabbergasting back-to-back concert of Rihanna and Chris Brown, to the phenomenal Twilight movie, I did not waste my time just the catch these exciting highlights if this year.

Yes, I was there when almost everyone I know attended the much awaited concert of the year. Rihanna and Chris Brown rocked manila as they performed almost all of their best hits as the reigning R&B king and queen of today showcased their talent last November 16, in Taguig. It was a superb experience since the “Beyonce experience tour”. I can’t still help my self humming into “BUM BUM DEE BUM BUM BUM DEDAM DUM” (whatever).

I’m used to being called EDWARD at work, (hoping it will just stay there) during the “TWILIGHT” fever. To be perfectly honest, I was not even in to it’s book and I did not even recognized the fact that it was known world-wide until it became a huge success on it’s motion picture version. I found myself curled in my most comfortable position as I watched the movie last November 29 at the Globe Platinum Cinema at the Gateway mall. Mesmerized, not only with the scenes and effects, but also with the portrayals of Robert Pattinson (also known as Cedrick Driggory) and Kirsten Stewart as Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, It was clear that I was also hooked and even watched it the 2nd time at Trinoma last Sunday.

Now, I am almost done reading its second installment, “NEW MOON” as another mythical creature was introduced. I am only on my 3rd day today and I could say that it’s new phenomenon among the series I was fascinated with.

My attention has invaded once again by “VALKYRIE PROFILE”, the most stunning RPG (role playing game) I have played since legend of legaia, god of war, and Orochie. I am on Chapter 6 and a few more goals to hit and I’m done after a year of almost loosing my patience just to finish the game. It might be the longest game I played to date.

I got my PSP last November. The long wait is finally over. Thanks to my friend.

___________________

I’ll be spending the next weekend in BOHOL with my high school friends. Madel came home all the way form CANADA and she was here for a long vacation. It’s good to know that we will be reunited after a couple of years of not seeing each other. The friendship is almost 12 years and it’s only now that we will be on an out-of-town trip. It seems as if it was just yesterday as I grasp the nostalgic memory of our high school years. As I looked back to our priceless and unforgettable past, I couldn’t help but laugh especially on our own misfortunes.. like the most embarrassing “BUBBLE GUM” and “BASA ang DAMO” episodes of my fist years as a high school kid.

I spent my senior year with my all-guy friends after madel transferred to another school but that did not stop us from seeing each other. During college, we still find time to see each other thought it was my time to be far away as I did my schooling in Baguio City.

Moreover, I am looking forward to see them again and I can’t wait to reminisce on the good days we had with them. That is why we can all relate to High school musical (1,2 or 3) since we all experienced that very moment of our lives. (yeah, I watched the movie version… just enough to consider myself sappy.. at times.. I do admit)

________________

It has been a year… and everything seems to be very solid.. the memory began to be filled… though at times, things may drift us apart,, but I guess, that would just make us stronger.. we are growing.. maturing.. days passes… but we are learning.. and we develop.. not only to be grown ups.. but also the relationship seems to be very fruitful… the love has evolved into something mature.. something serious.. I hoped that this would bind us more.. to fight against the adversaries of life… to remain brave… and to be courageous… life would be meaningless without you by my side… I am thankful.. we’re hanging on.. clinging on.. don’t let go… I won’t… I’ll stay with you.. for as long as you wanted me to… for as long as I can your life.. and you are mine…

catching up

2008-08-29T02:05:00.006+08:00

It's almost the end of August and time flies... I was so busy with so many things as of thee moment and that kept me from my BLOG. It was a very stressful month indeed. I'll be into so many activities in the next few months.

I'll be in Baguio by September, then my office friends are planning to attend our "OCTOBEFEST", then come December, I might be out of town again (maybe Palawan) with my "early" highschool friends. The 10th year Anniversary of our HS barkada didn't push through because of the busy scheds but I hope I would be able to find time for that.

My job demands so much of my time and energy that I can't even find time to see a movie. The good thing is that I started my work-out again and It is also stressful since I really have to loose a lot of weigth. My primary photo on my frinedster would proove how much I gain. I also have lots of PICS to share but for now, they are all posted on my friendster.

iPhone 3G will be available in the Philippines by September and it still cost a lot but I would really waned to get one. Hopefully by early next year.

NYC--June 26, 08

2008-07-04T02:37:00.002+08:00

I so hate the feeling of being unproductive. I mean there were days that we need to relax a bit and just let anything go of the hook. But as they say, too much of something isn’t good. It’s been days and I am not doing my job. As in I am not doing anything as of this moment. With too much obsessive compulsiveness, I don’t lavishly indulge myself into fruitless hours doing nothing but star gazing or daydreaming especially at work.

NYC

Basically, at home I find time to watch “UGLY BETTY” (it’s one of my favorite series). Sometimes I am so hooked that I was able to finish 3 episodes before going to sleep. (That was last night). The other week I was able to finish “Gossip Girl” XOXO, that I got so frustrated because the DVD that I bought somewhere, down the pedestal part of Makati, because it was not complete. And 3 weeks ago I was able to see the most anticipated movie of the year, “Sex and the City”.

They all have something in common, what else, NYC. The setting of each T.V. series revolved around the streets and events in the BIG APPLE. It’s one of the celebrated places that I want to go to, sometime. I was so fascinated with its busy streets, prominent trademarks, the most watched stage plays, its diverse culture, and most of all it is where the American dream is.

New York City is a place full of dreams. From the high-end Manhattan to the streets of Brooklyn, from the ghetto Bronx to the old folks of Queens, It is somehow influenced/s us. I, for one, since living in the Metropolis of Makati somewhat relates to the lives of the characters of these T.V. series, though there’s a huge difference. Being surrounded with New York inspired phenomenons, lifestyles, personalities, and commodities such as YELLOW CAB, BROOKLYN PIZZA, DKNY, NY FRIES, 42ND ST, HAIRSPRAY, NEW YORK BEST SELLING BOOKS, NY TIMES, CS NY, NY KNICKS, NY YANKEES, MARIAH CAREY, NAPOLIS, TIFFANY’S, HIPHOP OF BRONX, and a lot more!

And speaking of New York enthused, How can I forget the movies that moved me such as, THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER, KINGKONG, PHONE BOOTH, 13 GOING ON 30, HOW TO LOOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS, BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S, YOU’VE GOT MAIL, SERENDIPITY, HOME ALONE, LITTLE STUART, SPIDER-MAN, THE TERMINAL, RAISING HELEN, GANGS OF NEW YORK, ENCHANTED, 27 DRESSES, SWAT, I AM LEGEND, GODZILLA, as in so many pa..

I remember a quote from someone saying “If you were able to survive in New York, you can survive anywhere”, I say, Filipinos can survive everywhere so why not conquer the Big City.

I have been dreaming to be there, I want to be a part of it… New York, New York!

JUNE 17

2008-07-04T02:30:00.001+08:00

I was at the Mall last weekend to buy my best friend a gift for his 26th birthday. I never failed to give him something every time there's an occasion and he never failed (well, almost) to give me a present as well.

While I was in search for the best gift at The Block, I suddenly realized that since he is earning more than I do (not to sound bitter or what) and since he is now capable of buying material stuff for himself, It suddenly came to me that I should give him something that is different, something not usual or something that can easily fade.

I, then, decided to go straight to "Fully Booked" (has been my favorite bookstore) and scavenge for the best book. He used to read and I know that it’s going to be the perfect gift. I want him to remember me or our friendship, how it began, whenever he reads the book. So I picked “Running after Winston Charles” the author of the book, “The Devil wears Prada”. The book, according to its description, is “so us”.

I also used to read well I still am but I the last book I finished was the 7th Installment of Harry Potter Book, “the deathly hollows”. It’s been a year and I would love to read and it was very envious of me because I want that same book I gave my best friend.

The next week, my office friend, Chery brought a book from the infamous Bob Ong. It is called, “stainless longganisa”. To be perfectly honest, I am not a fan of him. Maybe because of so many forwarded messages that I’ve been receiving almost everyday about Bob Ong’s famous lines which really annoys me. But to my surprise, I found myself scanning the pages of the book.

What caught my attention was not his writing skill nor the content of his book. What it made me hooked to it as I sat down at the corner of the room was something we have in common, we have the same humor. And it was then I realized that I just finished Page 35 just after a few minutes. The book revolved around the concept of writing and the unfolding of his writing abilities. He was able to juxtapose his experiences as an author and his inspirations as he grows.

It made me looks back at the days that inspired me to read and somehow, write. From the Grimm Brothers to Hans Christian, I counted some of the first readings I had. The comic book Archie is definitely one of them. I’m fond of reading comics even the local ones and I have this fondest memoir of asking my sister to lend me her copy of “your daily Horoscope”. It was one of the top sellers before and It has one of the best tagalog stories I read from a comic-book wihich eventually became a hit Movie, “Sa isang sulok ng mga Pangarap”.

Reading books is one of the things I usually do usually if I’m alone of there’s an available one to read. I am fascinated with the works of John Grisham (The Client, The firm, et al), Patricia Cornwell’s Hornet’s nest, Dan Brown’s “Angel’s and Demon’s”, and “The Vinci Code”, And some of the works of Mario Puzo, Stephen King, Anne Rice, Candace Bushnell, Mitch Albom and of course, J. Rowling.

I can definitely read almost any books about anything under the sun. I am not particular with any genre. There was this one incident wherein I found myself reading one of the novels of Bienvenido Ramos, An author about romance pocket books. Well, that was a long time ago and I was just a kid.

From books, I used to read magazines too. I had a bunch of FHM Magazines and I stopped purchasing when it became very commercial and “gasgas” that everyone knows it and reads it. My first FHM subscription was the July 2001 edition and it has Myle Dizon. It was magnifying to me because of its feature articles about man’s lifestyle that you can’t find through the pages of COSMO, PREVIEW or METRO. I also used to read CHALK Magazine because I was, then, a freshmen student and it used to feature a lot about College life. Then now, I have new sets of magazine subscription which I ought not to dwell on.

And then there’s BLOG.

survey from my friendster account....

2008-06-10T15:07:00.001+08:00

HIGH SCHOOL QUESTIONS:
1. Inaaway mo ba yung guard sa gate?
> minsan.. kahit isang guard lang xa.. si kabudbud hehehehe

2. Lagi ka bang nalelate?
> hindi.. may school service ako kahit hs na hehehehe

3. Complete uniform ka ba lagi?
> 'course.....

4. Sumusunod ka ba lagi sa mga school
rules??
> medyo.. bagets pa kasi kaya di pa umaangal...

5. Kumakanta ka ba ng Pambansang awit?
> required eh

6. Active ka ba sa klase?
> depende sa subject heheheh

8. Nakikipagdaldalan ka ba habang
naglelesson ang teacher?
> naman.... may bubble gum incident pa nung 2nd year... hehehehe kahiya...

9. Hinaharass mo ba ang mga teacher
nio?
> bubble gum ni apung july hehehehe

10. Napa office kna ba?
> twice

11. Napahiya ka na ba sa klase?
> bubble gum incident.. hmmmnnnn

13. Gumagawa ka ba ng assignments o
copy lang?
> gumagawa,,, ginawa na nga naming business bi emil eh.. hehehe

14. Kumakain ka ba tuwing break?
> most of the time

15. Nangutang ka na ba sa kaklase mo?
> hindi.. pero pinagbabaon ako ng mga babae kong friends

16. Natutulog ka ba sa klase?
> nope...

17. Pumapasok ka ba sa ibang room?
> oo naman.. sinusundo pa nga ng adviser lalo na pag over break...

18. Gusto mo ba ang mga patakaran
ninyo sanyong eskwelahan??
> ok lang... hindi organized pero ok na rin.. enjoy pa din

19. Nagtetext ka ba habang nagkaklase
kayo?
> di pa uso text nun... mga "penback" na halos everyday meron dapat... inuuna pa sa assignement hehehe=
.
20. Nagdadala ka ba ng mga pagkain sa
room niyo?
> nope... humihingi lang... pg diba hehehehe

21. Ano pinaka mahirap na subject mo sa hs?
> Math...

22. Natawag mo na bang "sir" ang
ma'am nyo, at "ma'am" ang sir niyo?
> most of the time

23. Ano ang pangalan ng eskuwelahan mo?
> NSI..... Angeles City

you...

2008-06-10T13:28:00.002+08:00

>After so many dramas, after so many tears wasted, and after so many time consumed of convincing oneself that the person you just spent your days with would be the person you truly love and cared for and sadly, it wasn't. Most of us, were blinded that we found the person that we've been longing for once we felt the attraction and the attachment. Little did we know that the person, that we hoped for, would not be the "one" and there would be someone else that is destined for us.

As we go along our own journey, we may bump into different type of people from all walks of life. Some may left us with the impression that they are the rightful person or the one that is the answer to our daily prayers but to our surprise,they're just another failed romance or failed relationship. We may always fall for the wrong person for so many reasons but does it really matter when in the end, we will end up with who's right for us?

I asked myself when I ever fell for someone?, like the real meaning of falling in love... I counted all of the relationship I had and I found myself in silence. I couldn't help but wonder..... did I really fell in love with someone?

I, for one, would be hypocrite if I will deny all the relationships I had. Of course, I fell for each of them. I would not be in any of these relationship if I never committed myself and never had the feeling. But this I'm sure of, Yes, I loved, but have I ever fell for someone so deep, that I can give my life with? That I can tell the world that I love that person no matter what, that I can give up everything I have just for that person, that I love that person without any condition? That I can spend the rest of my life with?

To my surprise, after so many weeping and pain, I just now realized that, yes, I am in love and I can say that I just finally found that person. And again, a big yes, because I know, amidst of this overwhelming relationship are the endless trials, trials that I am more than willing to put a fight a with. As they say, the mirror has two faces.

I've been to so many difficulties. I fought so many battles and lost some but this is something that I can't afford to loose for this is my life and you made it more beautiful. I may show some weakness in the battlefield but it may only be a manifestation that I am only human. I get hurt, I cry, but I won't surrender. There may be lots of enemies surrounding us, like bandits who tried to hold us down, but rest assured that I am at your side.. I won't ever leave you..

Happy birthday...

My Bora Experience

2008-06-05T15:58:00.005+08:00

At long last, I was able to plunge into the crystal clear water and lay along the white smooth sand of the famous BORACAY.. I had the chance to go there and took advantage of the last few days of SUMMER of '08. I was able to start it with my friends at puerto gallera on March 15-16 (as written on my blog) and ended it at the BoRa.

I heard a lot of stories about the heavenly beauty of BORA and I made a promise that I will try it myself. I've been to several places like Bohol, Vigan, Nueva Ecija, Bulacan, and the shores of Pagudpud, Zambales, Bataan, Subic, La Union and so many others but Boracay is the best so far.....

It was also my first time to travel through plane and it was exciting...

It was a 50-minute ride from the Manila Domestic Airport to Caticlan airport and another 15 minutes ferry ride from the Airport to the Jitty sea port. It would cost you atleast 1k to transfer from port to port until you reach your hotel or resort that you will be staying. We were so fortunate to avail for the transfer package that our Hotel offered. It was less than the normal fee and we have a tour guide to assist us and it was a huge help since it's our first time to be in Boracay.

We stayed in Alta Vista de Boracay. It is a very new place in Boracay but I can say that they offer first class service and the place is very good. It is a condotel with several villas, of which some are still under construction. Every room has a bath tub (and I really have to point this one out)and a lanais with over looking view. It is, by the way, located at the ecovillage at the hill top, adjascent to Club fairways and the on-going construction of Shangri-la.

It was a 5-10 minute drive from the hotel up to the white beach. The "white beach" is
a 4 kilometer white-sand beach divided into 3 stations (and every station corresponds to every social-economic structures.. as they say). Station 1 is where you can find the high-end bars, hotels and resorts. Station is the middle, this is where you can find the ever famous D'Mall. It is the most active part of the beach since you get to find so many things to do. it is where you can get the services, such as massage, spa, diveing lessons, beach-sports/activities (snorkling, parasailing, sunset sailing, banana boating, et al). This is also where you can dine with so many restaurants and cafe's like "ARIA" and "Don Vito". It is also where the ever "Regency Hotel" is located. This is where we stayed and I have so many photos that I posted almost all on my friendster account. Station 3 is where you can have cheaper goods like souvenire items and delectable but cheap food. It is also the most crowded since it is where the residencial part of the Island is located.

We were also able to go to "PUKA BEACH" despite of it's privacy. With the help of our Hotel assistants, we were able to stay there for a couple of hours. That's where I was able to obtain my "TAN" that I've wanted to achieve for years.

Buffets Coffees, Smoothies, Sun bathing, Sunset sailing, Shopping, walking, and all that stuff... there's so many things to enjoy during the stay. I can't even upload
all of my pics on my blog because they're so many. I wanted to share almost all of the things I did during my 4-day and 3-night stay but Time is really rinnning out...

till then.

my brooke

sentiments....

2008-05-02T19:29:00.001+08:00

After feeling jaded, pour out, and secluded, I find myself writing this entry on my workstation. I can’t even think of anything else to share. First, let me start that our system is at rest that just made my day. I am supposed to scuttle things as the Month-end approaches, but then again, I was caught off-guarded. It is not turning out as I anticipated things to happen.

Effervescently, I suddenly thought that time management is something that I have to work on.
~~~~~```
Our Bora get-away is on treading water due to the unforeseen circumstances. We have to move the date but as decided, it will pull off before the scorching heat ends. We have so many plans and I know that everything that we endeavor will somehow work.
~~~~~```
Our team decided to have our own team-building, which is a classic and “real” one. And I’m not in any mood to go because of the fact that there are people that I yearn not to see at all and unfortunately, they’re going to be a part of it. I don’t want to leave, any of my superior, an impression that I’m trying to have this attitude. But the reality is, my attitude is not even half of what they have or what they are trying to demonstrate. I’m actually nice to someone that shows politeness towards me or other people. I am not at all fastidious in regards to picking my own set of friends, but it’s more of the understanding that it’s easy to be with someone who is true.
~~~~~```
I was still fascinated with “E=MC2”. I was in awe whenever I listen to it. I always find myself humming some of the songs from the album. She is still the reigning Queen.
~~~~~~```
I am definitely into AI! It’s fixating me. I just hope that Sayeesha Mercado would nail it

written on April 27, office, Makati